Be Scared. Jump Anyway!

free falling2

Everything in me is screaming “DON’T POST THIS!

I’m stuck staring at a blank piece of paper, unable to create a coherent sentence. I think, “What am I so scared of?”

It took a minute.

At first, I said to myself, “I’m not scared of anything. I can do whatever I want to do. It’s not fear that’s holding me back. Of course, I’m not scared. Not me. It must be something else.”

Well, that was a lie.

I am scared.

I’m scared of

change

what you think of me

failure

regret

missing out

creating crappy art

pretending to be someone I’m not

being left

the unknown

never finding my purpose

being wrong

losing my mind

losing people I love

not being perfect

showing you my insecurities

you not liking what I have to say

never living up to my expectations

never creating anything that matters

dying without having used my gifts and talents

of admitting that I’m scared.

I am scared, but I must GO THERE in my vulnerability and create anyway. 

Here’s to the brave ones who wish to create boldly, but are too scared of jumping in. I’ll go first.

Be scared. But you must jump anyway!

– Kaci

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Be Scared. Jump Anyway!

  1. Thank you for encouraging me to be vulnerable. Just the thought of that scares me to death. What makes me think that I won’t experience the same pain again?

    • Hi Melanie!
      Thank you so much for posting a comment. It’s always nice to know people (well, besides my mom and husband) read my posts 😀

      Gosh, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Actually, as crazy as it seems, this post was one of the hardest I’ve ever done. Seriously, I wanted to vomit right after I pushed “publish” – it is SCARY!! It means that other people might not see me as I wish them too, but then again, if I were to have chickened-out, I most likely wouldn’t have reached you and connected with you.

      Your question is so good and one that I’ve thought about many times. Why put myself out there if there’s even a sliver of a chance that I might get hurt? I’m not sure if you read my article on ThinkSimpleNow, but I think you might like the read. It talks about the very issue of vulnerability, and why we should take that risk. Although scary, the opportunity for pleasure, joy, connection and freedom like in the chasm of being honest and vulnerable with others. Here’s a link to that article – http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/vulnerable/

      Let me know what you think!

      Kaci

    • Olivia!
      Thank you so so sooooo much for those encouraging words! Like I told Melanie in the comment above, I seriously wanted to vomit posting this. It was gut-wrenching, but I felt that if I couldn’t be honest with myself, what kind of art am I going to be creating? Crap. That’s what.

      I gladly take your hand – lets go!!!

      I love your blog, your honesty and snarky personality are hilarious. I just have to say, that “Haters Gonna Hate” picture is classic. So great!
      I would love to know more about you and your creative projects and ways that I can encourage you to keep on keeping on!

      Thanks for your support!
      Kaci

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s